--sweet =Þ

let's see i'm bored so i'm gonna entertain you people, well i'm gonna aim on you GIRLS, i respect you all and on behalf of my manhood and if by any chance one of you becomes my girlfriend, i just thought you should know that you and i both can have perfect days shopping and cooking together. i swear i'll never make wisecracks when you scrape your tires against the curb while parallel parking. if you consent to live with me, i'll clean the toilet every week. i'll do it with my tongue if you ask. i will strike the words 'i'm lazy' and 'you do it' from my vocabulary. i will only pass gas underneath the covers and only in the suburb of air circumstances. i'll go on a low cholesterol diet. i won't buy one of those red sports car when i hit my mid-life crisis. we'll live in a loft, your parents can come visit us every week. even if your mom is a big witch with a capital 'B'. i declare, i will separate the whites from the colors. i'll learn the mysteries of hot and cold water washes. i'll never huff and puff while waiting for you to put on your makeup. i will happily go see chick flicks with you like 'a walk to remember'. i'll make a point to trying new food like rat testicles and dip it in ketchup. i won't curl my nose at vegetables whose awful taste is disgusted by having cheese put on it. i pledge to always say "yes". when you ask, "is my hair looking okay tonight?" i'm gonna bring a whole new meaning to the word "cuddle". i'll be thoughtful enough to read your horoscope every day. i'm gonna save every letter you send me. and i'll actually write you letters when we're apart. i'm never gonna expect you to know where i left my car keys, and i'll never leave my socks on the floor. with me, you'll find the cap is always on the toothpaste.. i'll start wearing those male bikini underwear if you like. my belly button will always be lint free. i will gladly put on music while you sleep and sing you a lullaby. while you're on your period i'd stay away from you and not piss you off. when you listen to the backstreet boys i will not tell you to shut it off. i'll even get us front row tickets for there concert. i will help you zip your pants when you struggle to fit in. when you sing, i'll cheer you on, instead of me telling you that your voice is too deep. i will not bother you where you go or what you do with your friends. i'll get high with you everyday if you want and just laugh our brains out. when you're sick, i'll always be by your side. if by any chance you get some kind of virus, without any hesitation, i will quarantine myself with you. i'll make you breakfast, in my case, since i can't cook, i'll get a breakfast combo at mcdonalds. i will make sure i'd give you a call and not ignore yours whenever we're apart and i will always shave my facial hair so my face won't be so rough against your skin and last but not least i'll keep my eyes to you and only you...

*** i got this from my cousin's blog. he's so sweet! i miss him so much! i hope i could get the chance to be with them this christmas and even stay there for good.

cLoSiNg DoOrS

He told me that he wouldn't ignore me anymore and I was so happy when he told me that. It made me smile when i received his message. He even doesn’t want to say what the reason why he did ignored me but according to his friend, it was because of his resume picture. It was because I laughed at his picture, which is not true. I didn’t made fun of his picture and I even ask for one. I guess I can never turn back the time. When I started my practicum, his friend told me some stories about him. He had a girlfriend before our finals but it never last that long. When he was in Boracay, so many shits happened and I was really hoping that I was also there. How I wanted to see him and sausage platter wearing their board shorts with their shirts off. So hot! Nights of partying, he got drunk and he even kissed the shoulder of his classmate. How I wish it was also my shoulder. After Bora, his friend told me that they got back together. I really didn’t know what he saw with this girl. All I know about her is that she had a boyfriend for more a year. I’m not jealous but what if Ej was right. What if we really became an item? What if I was his first girlfriend and he was also my first? When we had our pictorial last May 10, I saw him in his casual attire. He didn’t say hi or even wave at me. When sausage platter noticed me, he smiled at me. Before he was the one who’s ignoring me and now it’s his best friend. Yema’s girlfriend was also there. She was wearing an off shoulder top. I really didn’t know what he saw in her. Why didn’t he notice me? The function room was so small and you can really notice everybody and I am so big so I don’t think he wouldn’t notice me.

I had to erase all the messages in my Sun cell phone because it was my dad’s company phone and he have to give it back to have a new one. It was so hard for me to erase the messages because it was all from Yema. Not only because it was from Yema but all of his messages meant a lot to me. I sent all the messages to my other phone just to keep all his messages. When Chinx saw my phone, she told me that Yema and I were like an item. How I wish we really are an item.

Why am I always thinking of him? Why is it that whenever I hear his name or his girlfriends name I feel like I don’t want to hear anything about them? Why do I feel this way? His friend asked me if I like him and I told her that he was my crush when we were still in our first year but it didn’t last that long. Not like what I feel towards BoY. It was totally different from him. I didn’t shed any tears for him and I don’t know why I’m acting like this.

** I’m going to close my door and try to go on with my life. I would concentrate first in my practicum and think of my graduation and my future career. I want to have some money so that I can buy all the things that I want and go to places I’ve never been to.

... Our Retreat ...

During our retreat, I looked back and I’ve realized that the closeness I had with my friends are slowly fading. I pin point one person and I told my friend that ever since she came into our group, we were divided into two. That was what I felt during that time. I thought that when you say ‘the more the merrier’ it will be really merrier. But I didn’t felt like that.

Around 9’o clock, we had one session. I know it would be the time to reconcile with one of your enemy. When we started to pray and talk to God and the music was really solemn, I started to cry. I cried because I remembered all the good and bad times I had with my friends and also the gap that had happened between me, boy and girl. I guess that gap was my prayer of healing. I asked God to help me go on with my life so that I wouldn’t feel anything about it. So that I can really say that I’ve moved on. I guess he answered my prayers.

After praying, I was still crying. When we had our candle thing, the first person that I wanted to approach was girl. I wanted to tell her that I’m really sorry for all the things that had happened to us in the past and I wanted to forget about it. But she wasn’t the first person who approached me nor did I first hug. Nor the second or the third but she became the last person that I hugged during that moment. I feel at peace when I was hugging her and when I told her that I was really sorry. I also thanked her for all the memories we had in the past. After that we had our group hug. It was the best group hug I ever had. Was it Picture perfect? Yep!

This is the best retreat for me because I told my friends how much they mean to me and how much I value our friendship. But i forgot to tell them that i also love them. I love you guys!

For chinx who wasn’t there on our retreat, you will always be one of my true friends and will always be one of my yosi buddies. Thank you for being there for me when I had no one to talk to. Thank you for all the laughs that we’ve shared and for trusting me. I will always remember all the days we’ve spent in school. I’m always here for you no matter what happens. Miss you and i love you =)

"The more the merrier'

i hope you know that i value our friendship so much

GaP between the TwO of Us

here is my horoscope for the day..

The more time you spend chatting with your closest friends, the better you'll feel about the world. Get your ideas out there and you'll really shine.

--> this is so true.. i was talking to chinx yesterday and it was the best talk i ever had.. i was able to tell her all my frustrations in life and all the things that's bothering me this past few days.. i guess i really miss her company.. i really miss you chinx! friday huh? i hope you can make it.. haha..

gap.. i really hate that word.. the last time i encountered this word, my heart was broken into pieces.. i don't want to talk about it.. now, i'm dealing with this gap thing again.. i really don't know where it started.. but every time we cross paths, we dont approach each other anymore.. unlike before.. i'm talking about YeMa here..

anyway, nothing to worry about.. i've been there since forever.. but at least this is really not like before.. i'm sad and a little bothered about this whole thing.. unlike before, i was really really down..

i don't want to think about it.. its no big deal.. i'm just thinking that every time i encounter this whole gap thing, i really don't know what i've done.. i really have no idea..

"In life, love is never planned nor happen for a reason. It just simply happens and if the love is real, it becomes your plan for life and your reason for living."

--> that quote came from china.. i told her that i'm not looking for that someone nor waiting for that someone.. she was so happy.. i told her that i'm tired of waiting and looking for that someone.. i guess i'm tired.. really really tired..

UnHaPpY valentines DaY

here is my horoscope for the day...

You're falling in love -- but it might not be a romantic thing. Some part of you is totally going nuts for something big and new and crazy, so enjoy it!

I’m falling in love? But with whom? I’m starting to believe that wishes don't come true and dreams aren't real. I hate Valentines Day. I always see girls holding a bouquet of flowers, kissing their boyfriends, serenading their loved ones (which happened last Thursday). Boy serenaded Girl and people where so kilig about it. I’m not affected about it. I don’t like Boy anymore but I guess I feel so lonely. I always wanted someone to serenade me in front of my classmates and friends or even in front of my relatives but I think it’s impossible. Enough with this love talks…

Last Friday, Chela told me that Sausage Platter smiled at me. I didn’t notice it because I was looking straight. Though I saw him but I never realize that he was smiling at me. I was so stupid but I don’t like him anymore.

Why is it that when you don’t like someone that is where he would notice you?

Though I’m back to my normal self, I’m still not happy. Maybe because I know that something is missing. But whatever it is that’s missing in my life, I don’t care.

what is *UP* with today

here is my horoscope for the day..

It's all about the good times for you right now as you sync up with the world's vibrations. If you're looking for a little love connection, you might meet the right person.

--> a little love? whoa!! i dont think that's true.. maybe for some libra people but not for me.. haha.. but i hope i can meet him so that i know that wishes do come true.. hehe..

iTs wHo i Am

You Are 20 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

-->this is so true.. anyway,,i just finished shopping and im so happy that i bought the things that i want but when i heard from a friend that YeMa likes someone, i was so sad.. i didnt know what to say but when i heard about it, i was so down... i didnt know what to say.. i was so sad that all i can think of is his face smiling at me.. i dont like him but i keep on thinking about the things that my friend told me.. all i know is that i miss his company.. =(

'when will be the right time?'

"im still wondering when will be the right time?how do you consider something if it is the right time or not..i think everything in this world is a risk..whatever you do, its still a risk...hope you take the risk with me..." - dudut

i was updating my friendster and i saw dudut's page and i saw this message.. it's simple but it's really sweet.. when will be the right time that someone would also say something like this to me.. not exactly the same as this one but something that is so sweet.. but im tired of waiting and searching for the right guy.. though im tired of waiting and searching, im still happy because i have my family and friends.. =)